Ah.

I used to think that I chased the high

Because i once felt disembodied

And that moment of pure euphoria

Dragged me under

And every other moment in my life

Has been determined by trying

To reach that moment

To carve it from its place in my past

And slam it back into my chest

Now I think

I’ve either

Convinced myself

I’ve reached

It, or I’ve

Realized it

Never was

Just one

Moment

A

Mom-

-Ent

Sin-

-gu-

-lar

E-

-vent

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I did it

Because everything was too much

I choose this because

Life can’t be filtered

The volume of the world can’t be turned down

Intensities can’t be edited

I did it

Because I just wanted to turn down the intensity of life.

I rode the asphalt

Like it was the sky

Gliding over cloud

Diving in

And coming away wet

Shivering from the sweat

That’s what it feels like

To ride a skateboard

Listen to music

And blaze up

While you slide

Across the asphalt

Weightless and ageless

In a continuum of swaying

As air goes through you

And over all your internal peer pressure

It carries you

Away from your place in society

It takes you to a place

Where it’s okay to be whatever it is that you are

It takes you to a place

Where a girl can love without feet of external judgment

Those forces that press down on her shoulders

Sink her into the ground

And make her believe

What she believes

How she feels

Who she loves is wrong

Bullshit societies telling bullshit lies

Reinforcing stigmas

Locking down labels

Securing people to preconceived notions

Of what you are

Based on the way you dressed

The way you walked

The sex you checked out

The race you wear

The face you have

The tattoos you got

Your shoe size and waist size

Your natural hair or weave

Your stretch marks and you highlights

The way you say y’all

The way you speak fool

Goons make up rules

That’s all society is

Hot days

Baking under

The hot sun

Hot skates

Rolling over

Hot tar

Long joints

Long nights

Long Johns

Falling by waist side

Hillsides

Landslides

Flying high

Long days

Hot suns

Long joints

Rolled real tight

Summers coming

And that means

Long days

Hot suns

Gold joints

Sunsets and jumping in

Into cool pools

When the uppers meet the downers

there A cladiscope of colors around me

there are small clothes piles

I don’t know when I grew out of them

And into adulthood

coffee

The woman waits for her coffee

she wears low heels

she picks up her feet and puts them down

she says thank you and takes her coffee

she leaves

her heels clip-clop like a soft acoustic song

we burned

we had no love

we urned

for each others’ gloved hands

we lured one another

into this lust band

we made history

that no one will remember

because we all bleed the same

and died

like grease fires, igniting and burning bright

before rescinding into its own

collapsing the heat into charred stones

fading until nothing but our ashes remain