Humus

My teeth make humusBreaking the walls of nuclei 

I try and try to produce something

Create with importance

I fail and fail to understand life 

I see sprinklers water patches of grass

I want to sit on the grass

And let the water foster me 

I want to dive so deep into a pool that the world is silenced

I want to be Kant’s mathematical sublimity

Turning displeasure into pleasure at the sight of enormity 

I want to affirm the superiority of intellect 

By reorganizing prose and the forms that contain them

I don’t like the content follows form

That signs require two parts

That white can’t be worn after Labor Day

I don’t appreciate the arbitrary 

So I unleash my frustration on garbanzo beans 

Why do things have to be titled

The light shades that fall on my eyelashes 

At night when exhaustion and the high 

Crescendos into my life 

Numbness creeping, inching along my spine

LIKE fingertips dances on grass blades 

Razor blades ice and figure skating shoes

Eyelash light shades

Like sun rays at the golden hour of daytime 

Or the ripples of the water

As you emerge 

With your eyes wide open

Euphoria and all the -isms

Dancing along the grass blades of my neurons 

Séries : 3 : the end 

You look at the window 

Seeing a face, yours 

Unwashed, faded makeup 

Blotches of patches of black mascara 

Highlighting the bags under my eyes 

And you realize 

You don’t care 

Enough to fix it 

And you realize

This is the moment 

The moment when the look isn’t cool anymore 

Because you didn’t choose it 

It chose you. 

Séries : 2 : the middle 

When you don’t want to

But you can’t stop

When you want to

( Figure out life )

And everyone knows it

( but you ) 

And everyone accepts it

But you can’t slow down

Long enough to remember 

What you were trying to stop

( figure out ) 

And you’re writing words without 

Remembering why you’d started

And what you were trying to say 

Pangs

I’m not sure when it happened

but at a certain point

without me knowing

I’d stopped

Stopped hoping the messages I got on Facebook were from you

Stopped looking for your tiny face on the right side of the screen

Stopped going to your profile

At some point I moved on

and I hadn’t even realized I’d done it

Until now

It feels painful

In the best way